FRUSTRATED

Ok, so over the last four years, I haven't been the best student. I've had some health problems and some other family problems come up that I've let get in the way of getting the best possible grades. One semester I completed my classes, but the grades were really bad because I couldn't focus on the finals with some things that were going on with Al. Then there was the Fall '07 semester when I dropped all three of my classes because Sydney needed me home more than I needed to be in class three nights a week. So not the best track record. I repaid the debt to financial aid by paying for and passing the classes that I had gotten financial aid for and failed to complete the course work for. I filed an appeal for financial aid and had it approved. I signed up for summer classes and filed for financial aid again, they said I needed an appeal, so I filed the appeal, only to get a letter on Friday informing me that since I had met the terms of my appeal I didn't need to file an additional appeal. Today, I receive a letter that says I need to file and appeal and have been denied for financial aid???? Ok, sound confusing yet? Last semester, when I filed the appeal they asked for a letter from my 9 year old to back up that I was needed at home. UMMMM??? Then I provided them with a letter from her psychologist, which they then told me they lost, so I went home, got the copies and was all ready to fax them back when I received a call that said they found the letter and other items I submitted. If this was only a recent problem I could understand, but every semester before this, I've had to call and remind them that they should take the hold off of my account that was on there due to having to prove that I was a ward of the court, that my parents are dead. Well, part of the reason I waited this long to go to school here was because after age 25 I no longer had to prove that they were not living in order to not provide their income, so I didn't need to provide a ward of the court waiver. EVERY SEMESTER FOR THREE YEARS!!! I am frustrated beyond belief. I am almost done, five more classes and I don't have to deal with them again, I get to deal with a new financial aid office. I know, I know, a lot of you have paid for your classes yourselves, you didn't have the luxury of qualifying for financial aid, and I should be thankful that I am not paying for this myself yet. I am just frustrated because how smucking hard is it, how hard is it to keep track of papers, how hard is it to put them in a file with my smucking name on it and NOT loose them. I do it in my office every day for 600 active students, I do it for 20 students a week who are separating and I keep track of every piece of paper that crosses my desk as do the four other people I work with in my office, so why can't these people do their job the way I do mine, CORRECTLY??? So, I suppose for the sake of the good I can achieve with the right degree, I'll continue on like a circus animal and jump through the hoops, with a little steam blowing in the process.

Strange

I've just finished a book by Inga Muscio, C--t, A Declaration of Independence. I was afraid to ask for it at the book store when I had to buy it for my Women's Studies class. I was afraid to start the book, but being as I am loud, obnoxious and outspoken most of the time, I chose this title over the alternative, which I can't recall right now. It has freed my thinking, it has allowed me to explore a part of me that I have kept deeply hidden. I suggest it to anyone who wishes to free themselves.

Sunday's news brought plenty of tragedy, both personal and in the world. Personally I found out on Sunday afternoon that my dear dear sister-in-law had lost her beloved mother. Her mother was an amazing person that I missed the opportunity to get to know very well, but what I do know of her I greatly admire. On Sunday, God gained an angel. On the news I saw where 14 had perished in a small airplane crash in Montana. This morning I read the list of those killed. One listed was Sydney, age 9. It brought sadness to my heart to think that the world is less one 9 year old Sydney, I am blessed to have mine in my life daily, for all her quirks, annoying habits and learning experiences. A relatives blog today spoke out about the wonder of 9 year olds. She pointed out that my darling baby is halfway out my door. Oh, how I am aware of this, daily I am reminded of how much she grows, how she matures, how much she has to learn and how much more there is to teach.

Today there seems to be a curse on all things water in our house! This morning I got up and found the water container in our refrigerator was leaking, oh, perhaps I did not tighten the spout, so I proceed to pull the container from the shelf, and become covered in WATER. Nearly a gallon of water, on my slippers, on the floor, and all over the refrigerator. The lid was loose as well as the spout. So I clean that up, then have my coffee. I go to take a shower, flush the toilet, turn to get clothes out of the closet and hear spilling. I turn, of course the toilet is gushing water everywhere. I grab the plunger, reverse the flow, mop the gallons I've wasted off the floor, wash the towels, wash the floor. Then I arrive 5 minutes late for work, because of my misadventures at home, to discover that despite the many lessons of the morning I have neglected to tighten my lid on my water bottle and the water is now spilt in my bag. AARRGH. So do I think the spills have stopped? No, the next spill is the waste toner cartridge, black dust EVERYWHERE. At least it wasn't wet, although quite messy! Home after work, and the daughter is getting water for the cat, the water of course, ends up where? So another round with the mop, and hopefully the rest of the night will be dry!
Tomorrow is another day, give thanks for the people in your life, the blessings, disguised as annoyances and the opportunity to go at it again tomorrow!

Handwriting, the forgotten art?

I am very proud of my handwriting. I love the look of a handwritten letter, I still love to receive them. I push my daughter to improve her printing, to make sure that she can be understood. I was so excited for her to start the third grade, CURSIVE, oh she would learn cursive this year. Alas, I asked the teacher about when they would begin handwriting, I was told that they would no longer teach it to the third grade, it was unimportant!!!! Tonight, I told my daughter she needed to work harder on her printing, to practice by doing her work, she said "That's what technology is for mom, why do I need to improve my handwriting, it is good enough."
ARGHHHHHHH...I disagree, I strongly disagree. I will teach her cursive this summer, she will learn and use it, I don't agree with the teachers and I don't agree with the ever increasing dependence on word processing programs. Spell check is not always dependable, their, there, they're, all are spelled correctly, and yet using the wrong one will give you very different meanings, and the spell check won't catch it. The grammar check will though, maybe, if you haven't used the wrong form of the word in a sentence where it would fit. What about filling out applications, oh most of them are online now, the importance of hand writing goes to the wayside. I see people through my work who have little competence when it comes putting pen to paper. Very few have the handwriting skills to fill out a form, let alone sign their names. I had a hard time on Friday when I came upon an illiterate student who could not even sign his own name, it was sad.
A long time ago I noticed that to raise my daughter with the values I think should be passed on to her in this area, in this time period, it would be very hard. It is like pounding my head against the wall some days. She doesn't want to work, she says the other kids don't work so hard so why should she. Is it the area I live in, or the state of the world? I don't know.
Maybe I am wrong, but it seems that handwriting is the lost art, or at least the act of putting pen to paper is perhaps out of date. Maybe I am the only person who still does it, it's been a really long time since I last received a letter that wasn't e-mail or typed through the post office. Maybe I am in the wrong time period.

Grandpa, Family

A few years ago my Grandpa asked to see "all Jim's kids at once." So today we made the nearly 95 year old man's wish come true. It took years to coordinate, it seems that when we can all get together, we don't have a car all of us can fit in, if we have a car we can all fit in, we don't have time off together to go. Anyway, today it worked, today one brother took the day off of work, the other brother was on vacation, I was off. So the plan was to get Grandpa to tell stories and to record him, but the recording didn't take place.
It was wonderful to be with him, wonderful to spend time all together. It has been many years since we were all there together. One of us, two of us, maybe my brother's kids and his wife and me, but today all of us were there, it felt different than when the three of us are together with our significant other's, I can't describe it, I don't know the words to say, but it felt right. Perhaps because today we weren't children, today he saw us as the adults he has helped us to become. Today I saw his pride in us, his satisfaction that we are all happy and healthy despite the trials we had to overcome in the past, perhaps he saw that although his eldest son died too young, his legacy lives on and will continue to do so.

9 year old logic

So last night Sydney is outside riding her scooter, enjoying the warm weather. So I've told her, wear your helmet, it will save your head if you fall. What is her answer??? "I don't fall mom" Ok, um, wear your helmet anyway. So she goes outside with the helmet in hand, doesn't put it on her head (OF COURSE SHE'S INDESTRUCTABLE AND MOM IS OLD) and proceeds to go to the top of the hill. Rides down the hill on her scooter, runs over her perpetually untied shoe lace (Thats the style now mom, its cool not to tie your shoes) and does a face plant into the pavement. Ok, I'm not saying that this is anything new for the 9 year old logic. For me it was a very cool pink Huffy bike that I was expressly forbidden to do pop a wheelies on. I didn't stop doing the pop a wheelies until after the 6 stiches in my chin. Did my parents show sympathy after the initial stitches, um nope, dad said, "were you doing pop a wheelies?" Yep, dad also said, "You're not the only one who doesn't listen" and showed me the scar in his chin, and pointed out the scar over my younger brother's eye, where he had ignored the rule of seatbelts in the back of the van and fallen into the refrigerator. So, what do we see here class??? The 9 year old mind does not have much good logic in it when it comes to risk. As I walked towards my screetching daughter yesterday I remained calm, the neighbor's sitter who was already with Sydney probably thought I was kind of heartless, I wasn't running toward her, since she was screaming her head off, I knew she might hurt, might be scared, but wasn't damaged forever. Sure enough, she has a good fat lip and a nice scratch on her chest, no loose teeth, no chips, no bitten off tounge and no missing digits. Did she tie her shoes after this incident, no, it still isn't cool. Did she say she would wear her helmet next time, no, it is dorky looking and no one else wears one. ARRRGHHH, childhood is an adventure, for ALL INVOLVED!