Who we are

My mother wasn't able to be the parent that I needed, my father died when I was nine. So many others though, picked up where she couldn't, so many others gave me love, taught me to go on, to carry though on what I needed to do. Their lessons became so much a part of me, that it has taken me until now to figure out why I am who I am in spite of or because of, the childhood experiences I had. No one can ever know what another's experiences truly have been, no one can really know how horrid or wonderful another's past was, and I'm beginning to understand that even I do not fully understand where I have been. I recall not wanting the life I had, I recall hating my mother for the disease she had, for not being strong enough to overcome her illness. I detested that she drank dispite warning from the doctor and the perscription bottles not to do so, I still detest alcohol most of the time and rarely partake for this reason. My home does not regularly contain alcohol, where my mother's home had a full bar, my brother's both have much alcohol in their home, they do not over induldge to my knowledge, but they have it in their home. If there is the occasional bottle of wine here it is because a recipie called for it or because someone brought it to share in my home, but it sits.
I believe we are constantly growing and becoming, we are constantly changing and growing, and when we close ourselves off to life's lessons is when we begin to die. I believe that we are the sum of our experiences, that each person who touches our lives affects us in a way that we carry with us, be it negative or positive. I believe that one person can make a difference, and I have been blessed with so many people touching my life to make a difference to me. I thank the Lord for the people He has had the wisdom to put in my life, I trust that should I be in need, He will carry me through the tough times.
Thank you, thank you, to all those who saw a girl who needed guidance and tried to help. I'm making it, even though I'm having a rough time right now, I'm making it.
Today I was awarded staff of the quarter for the work in recognition of the work I have done in the last three months, I am so proud of myself, and have only the sky as my limit!