Blessings

I was about 10 years old the night my mother sat me down and told me to count my blessings. How she came to this amazing conclusion that I needed to do so, and how she could see that there were so many blessings to rejoice in is amazing to me in looking back. We were living like refugees, my mother having spent all the money my father had left, moved us back to her hometown to live near her family. She and my brothers were secretly staying in a house that was supposed to be vacant, our furniture and all of our possessions piled high throughout the house, I was staying with my grandmother. We were not all under one roof, we did not have a space of our own, she was very depressed, and yet, she told me to stop crying and count my blessings, and I did, they were typical 10 year old blessings, my dog, my mom, my brothers. We had our own apartment shortly after that, but I've never forgotten her sitting down and making me count my blessings, I do it often, I have a rule that I have to come up with at least 10 each time. I've passed that on to my daughter, I make her count her blessings when she is sad, I make her stop and say out loud at least 10 things she has to be thankful for.
I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I was blessed with an amazing mother. Despite her illness she gave me the strength to carry on, the power to love through pain, the power to find something to be thankful for even when the days are dark. She passed on a thirst for knowledge that is never quenched an appreciation for music, and faith in God. I wish that I had been able to appreciate her when I was 18, but 18 is a hard time and we girls don't always appreciate their mothers until later. Even through her death she taught me something, I know that although Sydney and I will have our hard times, she will one day, say like 20 years from now, not find me so annoying and embarrassing.
I've been angry with Mom for a lot of years for leaving me, I've been angry that she isn't here to rally me on and to hold my hand when life is hard, but I forgive you Mom, I forgive you and I love you and I know that although you are not here physically, you are here in spirit.